You’re getting married.

The big day is looming on the horizon like some wonderful Titanic and you get butterflies in your stomach every time you think about it. You happily dig through wedding magazines and bridal gown flyers, hunt for photographers, and have a hand in everything from decorating all the way down to the wedding favours and table settings for each and every person.

Oh, that’s right! There are supposed to be other people at your wedding, not just you and the bridal party!

Looks like you’re going to have to send out some wedding invitations. But if this is your first wedding, you may be a little unsure of the proper way to go about it. After all, you don’t want to look like an amateur at your own wedding, do you? Of course not. You want your wedding invitations to scream, “Look at me! I’m a professional! I’ve done this a hundred times!”

Ok, maybe you don’t want your guests to think you’ve had a hundred weddings to get things perfect, but you know what we mean.

We’ve compiled 10 of the most frequently asked questions about wedding invitations to help you look every bit like the consummate professional and perfect bride you always wanted to be. And if anyone asks, you can just tell them that we’ve done it a hundred times.

1. I’m totally lost! What do I need to do to get my wedding invitations in good order?

Ok, first thing you need to do is close your eyes, take a deep breath—and relax. Although your wedding invitation is as important as any other part of your wedding, it’s important that you take some time and really enjoy this. Wedding invitations can be an extremely creative and rewarding part of your wedding planning duties.

You’re going to need a list of all your guests, and you’re definitely going to need a plan of action. If your wedding has a theme to it, you can easily integrate the wedding invitations into your theme and announce it to your guests. Remember, a wedding invitation is the first written confirmation most of your guests will have of your big day, and many people like to collect wedding invitations as mementos.

2. Who gets wedding invitations when I send them out? Do I send them to every single person coming to the wedding?

Generally, every one of your guests over the age of fifteen or sixteen should get their own invitation. If you are planning on allowing children to attend your wedding, then it’s also alright if you send each child an invitation. Couples should receive only a single invitation, however, because it is assumed that they will both be attending. Many people believe it is good luck to have other happy couples at your wedding.

You’ll want to be sure to make room for your single friends to bring dates unless you are really cramped for space. Weddings can be very depressing affairs for single people who can hear their biological clocks ticking. At least if they have a date with them, they will have someone to dance with at the reception.

3. What are some problems I could run into when I’m sending out my wedding invitations?

There are a few snags that you could run into with regards to sending out wedding invitations. The most important one could be for you to put the wrong amount of postage on your envelopes and have them all come back to you covered in ugly postal stamps.

Another problem you could have could stem from an improper mailing list. Nothing could be more frustrating than having a wedding invitation come back you marked “Does Not Reside at This Address” or something equally unfriendly. Worse, the person expecting a wedding announcement could be sitting around wondering what they did that made you leave them off your guest list.

Finally, if you are planning special non-traditional or unique wedding invitations, you should be aware that funny shapes and sizes don’t generally agree with the post office. Mail sorting machines can wreak havoc on envelopes that are extra lumpy or have ribbons and things hanging off them.

By all means, if that’s what you want for your wedding invitation, then go ahead and do it, but you might consider a larger, bulkier envelope or even bubble envelope to put your original invitations in.

4. When do I send out my wedding invitations?

Usually you want to send your wedding invitations out fairly early. Some say three months in advance is a good time, and some people swear that six months is how much time you need.

The problem with a six month invitation is that all your guests have lives. That means that they will be busy thinking about work, raising children, worrying about bills, thinking about what to make for supper, and whether they want to spend extra money to see the latest action movie on the big screen or not. In short—how can they possibly expect to remember that the second weekend in June your wedding starts at 1 p.m. in front of the church you were baptised in when it’s three days to Christmas and there is two feet of snow on the ground?

Of course, if you are planning on having everyone meet down in Mexico at your favourite Puerto Vallarta resort for a week of celebrating and festivities, you want to give everyone as much time as possible. A wedding like this may need a year or more in advance for planning and saving up for the trip.

Three months is a much better choice than six months, in our humble opinion. It’s far enough in advance that your guests can send back their RSVP’s (if you have any) and they also have enough time to dig out their good clothes and maybe lose a few pounds (or have their pants let out, whatever works) before the big day.

Anything less than three months and you run into problems with time management. Your guests may need to find babysitters or make other arrangements. All of these things take time, and the more time you give yourself the better off you are.

5. What should my wedding invitation say?

Your wedding invitation should cover all of the basics, and then any added poems or quotes you think would be appropriate can be added.

You want the invitation to have the full name and titles of the guests you are sending them to. Remember that military officers, members of the clergy, and doctors have special prefixes to their name. Sending an invitation to your brain surgeon that says “Mr. Smith” on it instead of “Dr. Smith” could be insulting to your guest. Everyone knows that it’s bad luck to insult your brain surgeon.

Also, your invitations should include the complete address, as well as the date and time. Don’t use abbreviations for anything. You don’t want any confusion at all when it comes to getting your guests where you want them. It may even be helpful to include a little map or some detailed directions in the invitation.

If your wedding is themed, it is completely acceptable for you to add a short poem or quote that reflects that theme. On the other hand, if there is something you would like to add, such as a favourite line or quote, feel free to add that instead. It is your wedding after all, so put what you like.

6. Why should I even send out wedding invitations? Why can’t I just call them and invite them personally?

Of course you can call them if you like. There are no laws against that (yet!). A wedding invitation is simply a tradition that has been happening in weddings for hundreds of years. You don’t have to send them out if you don’t want to, but you should consider a few things first if you think you don’t need wedding invitations.

First, wedding invitations are more than simply a card asking your guest to attend your wedding. They are also handy little reminders that your guests can use that will always have the proper time, date, and place listed on them. A simple phone call won’t have this option.

Second, you can send your wedding card with an RSVP for your guests to send back to you saying whether they can attend or not. You can do this on the phone, of course, but having it on paper can be a big help when you are planning seating arrangements and the like.

Finally, many wedding invitations are like works of art that people like to hold on to as a cherished memento. You can even hold onto a few of them yourself, as a reminder of your wedding.

7. This all sounds so expensive. How can I cut some corners to keep the costs down?

It’s easy to cut down on the cost of your wedding invitations and still have them come out looking perfect. One of the easiest ways for you to do that is to simply make them yourself.

When you purchase a wedding invitation kit, you can be assured that the price is going to go up depending on your needs or the amount of customization needed. If you make them yourself, however, you gain complete creative control over your wedding invitations while at the same time being able to control the costs of materials. And since you are doing the work yourself, the cost of labour goes down to zero.

Another way that you can cut the cost of your wedding invitations is to use placard-style cards instead of traditional fold over ones. A placard style card looks like a postcard, with the writing on one side and any specific information you want to convey on the other.

Finally, if your RSVP return is simply a small piece of paper with your phone number and e-mail address on it, than you can save quite a bit of money on return postage. Of course, you may want the extra security and tradition that comes with formal RSVP returns, but if you do than you already know you’re going to pay for it.

8. Which is better? Homemade invitations or store bought ones?

There are a couple schools of thought on this. As we mentioned before in the previous question, there are obvious cost benefits as well as creative benefits to making your invitations at home. However, there are also advantages to having your invitations custom made as part of a wedding invitation kit.

The most important thing about store bought wedding invitations is that you can get a high quality professionally done wedding invitation to send out to your friends and loved ones. If you are inexperienced with making things like crafts and cards yourself, this can be a big advantage and could keep your invitation from looking cheap.

Also, on the off chance that something does go wrong with your store bought cards, you have someone you can squarely point a finger at. With homemade wedding invitations, you can only blame yourself if something goes wrong. What fun is that?

Finally, store bought invitations can save you a lot of time. When you’re planning the biggest day of your life, saving time could be an important advantage. If someone else is busy doing the work, you can free yourself up to work on the millions of other things that need attending to for your perfect wedding to go off without a hitch.

Homemade cards give you something that store bought cards never could, and that is sentiment. A hand made card that you worked on yourself goes a long way toward telling people how much you care about them and how important this day is to you. You can also make something that lasts and that people will still be talking about on your twentieth wedding anniversary.

In the end, it’s entirely up to you how you want your wedding invitations made. Make them from scratch, if you want, or have them designed in a store. Whatever you feel will suit your wedding the best is probably the best choice for the occasion.

9. Should I send an RSVP card for my guests to send back?

Deciding on whether to send an RSVP card or not really depends on two factors. The first is whether you are holding your wedding in a church or at home, and the other is whether you are trying to save money or not.

Traditionally wedding invitations are sent with an S.A.S.E. (Self Addressed, Stamped Envelope) so that the prospective guests can send word as to whether they are coming or not. As the RSVP’s arrive back to the bride-to-be, she can easily mark them on her list and continue with the wedding preparations.

If you are holding your wedding at someone’s house or another smaller area, this could be very important to the overall plan of your wedding. A small space means that careful attention must be paid to the amount of people who will be attending the affair.

If you are holding your wedding at a church or some other large enclosure then an RSVP may not be necessary. If the church is designed to hold several hundred people and you invite a hundred or less, you obviously won’t have any problem finding seats for everyone.

If you are trying to save a little money, replacing an RSVP with a phone number or e-mail address may be just the way to go. Proper etiquette says that you should pay for the stamp on the return envelope for an RSVP, so you can see how it easily doubles your postage costs.

10. Could you give me any last words of advice when planning my wedding invitations?

Take care in planning your wedding invitations. It may seem like a small thing, but your invitation speaks volumes about what people should expect at your wedding. Think of this as your first wave of attack in your mission to have the best wedding ever.

Try to match the theme of your wedding invitations, to the theme of your wedding itself. Use the same colour scheme in you invitation that will be used for the bridal party and the wedding itself.

Also, get going on them as soon as you can. The sooner you get your invitation worries out of the way, the sooner you can start fretting about the lights, the photographer, the cake…

Well, there it is. Hopefully, this article has answered some of your questions about wedding invitations. If you are still not sure about what to do, you can always ask some of your married friends or check with wedding planners.

Their advice may not be cheap, but it will be a lot cheaper than botched wedding invitations.

About The Author

Bill Schnarr is a successful freelance writer providing tips and advice for consumers about free printable invitations, titanium wedding bands and handmade wedding invitations. His numerous articles offer moneysaving tips and valuable insight on typically confusing topics.

This article on the "Wedding Invitations - Inquiring Couples Want to Know" reprinted with permission.

© 2004 – Freelancers-Wanted.com.